All writers want to open their story with a killer first line. What makes a great opening line? It’s not easy to define.
Some say the best first lines must encapsulate the entire theme of the story. Other say it must establish the character, time, place, and even dilemma. Others just drop us right into the action, woo us with lyricism, or make an impact with some shocking truth.
I hadn’t given much thought to my first lines. Then I attended the Virtual Writers Circle Retreat with Mollie McClure. There her guest, Jaqueline Mitchard, talked about crafting a compelling first line. I wondered, how do my first lines stack up?
I made a list of all my opening lines and discovered that only one out of ten made an impact. This was because I didn’t actively craft my opening line.
I was curious if the members of the Writers Mastermind paid close attention to their first lines and challenged them to pick out the best first lines they had ever written. I also asked them to share their favorite first lines of all time.
Here is the result of that experiment. You can see that some hint at theme, others foreshadow, while others start in the middle of a scene. Some opening lines are simply poetic and beautiful, or give us a clue to the plot or character.
Members’ Best Opening Lines
There is no night when you’re staring straight at the sun.
Josh Gardner
He awoke in a cold sweat, pulse racing, senses hyper alert – his body prepared for fight or flight.
My mothering was a thin wall with nothing to hold it up.
David Powell
Each night, with my desk flush with the floor to ceiling glass of my high-rise apartment, I gaze at the lights beyond Orchard Road, waiting for them to twinkle out a story in some secret optic code, but when I wake up in the morning, breath like jet fuel, eyes gritty against their lids, I look at my Word doc and only see the plaintive blinking cursor.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a fortune is in want of a wife.”
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
“Marley was dead, to begin with.”
Christmas carol by Charles Dickens
“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off by sounding like Sunday, there’s something seriously wrong somewhere. “
Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham
Submitted by Joseph Sale
“In the eyes of the eternal Buddha, all things could be seen.”
Black Heart by Eric Van Lustbader
Submitted by David Powell
“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
Neuromancer by William Gibson
Submitted by Christa Wojciechowski
“Sometimes, when I’m staring down a room of Japanese stewardesses-in-training, looking across a sea of shiny black coifs, a chorus line of stockinged legs, knees together, toes to the side, when I’m chanting ‘Sir, you are endangering yourself and other passengers!,’ I think I should have let my brother stab me.”
Grammatical expletives are not dirty words, but they can be equally offensive. Grammatical expletives are empty words that take up valuable space and dilute the power of your sentences.
This article from Just Publishing Advice tells us how to target these words in your writing and how to formulate your sentences so that each word does a job.
You probably use the grammatical expletive very often in your writing. But what is it?
The definition of the word expletive is an oath or a swear word. But in grammar, it means to use a word or phrase to fill out a sentence without adding to the meaning or sense.
The word derives from the Late Latin word, expletivus, which means to fill out.
When you know what you are looking for, you can quickly edit these words with no meaning.
What are expletives in grammar and writing
They are empty words that occupy space in a sentence but with no meaning or action.
The most common forms use there or it as the subject of a sentence.
When a sentence starts with either of these two subjects, the verb that follows is usually the verb to be.
The forms are almost the same.
There is/are/was/were/will be
It is/was/will be
When you start a sentence with any of these combinations, the words say nothing.
As with many writing rules, there are exceptions. For example, you can certainly use grammar expletives when you want to add emphasis or delay the main subject of the sentence.
However, in general, the best practice is to remove them when you can.
Grammatical expletive examples
Here are some example sentences that start with the expletive.
There were more than one hundred and fifty people at the wedding.
It was a very violent storm that hit the city last night.
There are so many politicians riding on the gravy train.
It is my fault that we lost the match.
There are lots of reasons why you shouldn’t take the job.
It will be my 21st birthday in June.
There is no way you can learn all the grammar rules.
As you can see from these examples, the first words give no meaning, sense, or action to each sentence.
How to fix grammatical expletives
If I use the sentences above, you have some options to change each one.
All you need to do is start the new sentence with a subject that is a person or thing, and if possible, follow it with an active verb.
There were more than one hundred and fifty people at the wedding.
More than one hundred and fifty people attended the wedding.
The wedding was attended by one hundred and fifty people or more.
It was a very violent storm that hit the city last night.
A very violent storm hit the city last night.
The city was hit by a very violent storm last night.
There are so many politicians riding on the gravy train.
So many politicians are riding on the gravy train.
The gravy train is ridden by so many politicians.
It is my fault that we lost the match.
We lost the match because of me.
I lost the match for my team.
There are lots of reasons why you shouldn’t take the job.
You shouldn’t take the job for lots of reasons.
You’ve got lots of reasons not to take the job.
It will be my 21st birthday in June.
I’m turning 21 in June.
My 21st birthday is in June.
In June, I’m celebrating my 21st birthday.
There is no way you can learn all the grammar rules.
You can’t possibly learn all the grammar rules.
Don’t think that you can learn all the grammar rules.
You all know this famous phrase. It is the opening line written by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in the novel Paul Clifford (1830).
It was a dark and stormy night.
When you think about how you would change this sentence, the possibilities don’t seem right. The night was dark and stormy; it doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Although the expression may have originated before the 14th century, it was made famous by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz.
There’s no place like home.
In the Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens uses the grammatical expletive to emphasize each element of the sentence.
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair …
As you can see, using expletive phrases have a use. So while you are not competing with the greats of literature, you know that it is a tool you can use.
Summary
There is no right or wrong when it comes to using either common or grammatical expletives.
But usually, a little goes a long way. When you are aware of the rules, you can then decide to edit them out or leave them as is.
I have a tendency to overdecorate my sentences. I’m recovering from this addiction and must constantly remind myself that too much of a good thing can make for tedious reading.
Don’t try too hard with your prose. We don’t have to find a use for every word in the thesaurus. Resist the urge to squeeze in every adjective and adverb into your sentences. Just write exactly what is.
Use powerful imagery and descriptions strategically. Give your reader a break with some lighter reading. Then thrill them with the occasional zinger.
